Dealing with unconsciousness and conflict within teams
It’s one thing to stay grounded and maintain a high-quality state of conscious awareness when working on a solo project. However, working with others towards a common goal presents an entirely new set of challenges. This article looks at the challenges of dealing with unconsciousness in group situations so that you don’t slip back down to a state of negativity, conflict and end up losing your shirt!
Let’s start with an example we are all familiar with. There’s a person on the team, maybe even a couple of people on the team whose behaviour is destructive. So naturally, you want to know how best to deal with “these people”.
You might start off Googling and searching for what to say or do to make the experience of working with these people on the team more constructive. But planning out in advance what to say is a bit of a trap, as it will take you out of the moment and whatever you do say will look staged somewhat. So what I suggest to others that are battling with this issue is something more general that frees you up and will be helpful in that moment.
The first thing to note is that unconsciousness is often noticed in others when there is a lack of in the moment, unconditioned interaction. This is observed when a person is experiencing a low-level quality of mind that is often associated with negativity, criticising, complaining, and judging behaviour. As you can imagine, this way of behaving is not conducive for effective team working. And it is unlikely to yield any good team outcomes.
When faced with negative unconsciousness, the most important thing to remember is not to be seduced into reacting to the unconsciousness in another person or of the group.
When faced with negative unconsciousness, the most important thing to remember is not to be seduced into reacting to the unconsciousness in another person or of the group. When you are in this situation, the reactivity in you will most likely rise up, and reacting is the easiest, seductive thing you can do. The problem with reacting like this is that the moment you return a negative remark, even deciding to pull rank to shut down the conversation, you will be drawn into unconsciousness at the same level as the person you are reacting to. So you become what you are fighting against. If, on the other hand, you can be free of reactivity, then something is possible.
Innocently been lured into unconsciousness and becoming what you are trying to deal with is not uncommon. In fact is the most common situation that people find themselves in, in any group, whether a group of colleagues or a group of people we call family. Not seeing and dispersing the reactivity in you as it arises means that gradually, your aperture to the fully awakened consciousness starts to close up. Everything, including the mood of the room, gets a little darker. The alternative is to maintain an intense state of presence in that your camera lens is locked out at its widest aperture setting to allow the entire flow of consciousness to come into your awareness. Then, as you look around the virtual meeting room, you can see everything for what it is. And instead of personalising the unconscious behaviour of another person, you recognise what you’re observing is the collective state of human unconsciousness in action. That’s all. There’s nothing personal about it. The fact that you may witness this type of negative behaviour frequently gives you an idea of the collective stage of human consciousness in your team, organisation and the majority of the human race.
How to be present in the first place
There are many ways you can become present. First off, it’s something you need to experience rather than reading a book, blog or listening to me talk about it. Still, knowing how it happens will help you bring your body into this state of being (particularly for anyone who needs to see the science of how things work before you are willing to give it a go).
As a yoga teacher and spiritual guide often positioned in the world as a coach to leaders and entrepreneurs, I guide people to fully awaken consciousness in their lives. Awakening or becoming fully present to consciousness in your life might sound too grandiose, so a simple place to start this process is within the body. But, again, going back to the working with conflict in teams situation, when you are in a situation that looks on the surface, it will disturb your peace. So the first thing you want to do is invite presence into your life. If you’re not already aware of this term, it’s best to view it as a state of calm alertness. So I often work with clients to quieten down their busy minds to reach that state of calm, alert presence that is often the background of their everyday waking life.
How to practice calm, alert presence
To practise this, draw your attention to your body, often first anchored by the breath and then become a witness to the body’s sensations. You want to draw your attention inwards to every cell of the body so that every cell of the body is alive with the presence, and you feel the aliveness throughout. When we are not anchored to our conscious existence, the body and the emotion that lives in the body will automatically react to the other person’s emotion. Emotion is the language of the body, so the reaction to the other person’s behaviour will come from there if it doesn’t come from the mind.
So, the learning here is to be in the body; the body is your anchor for presence, sometimes also referred to as grounding. So when you are present and grounded and faced with what looks like a challenging situation, there you are, there you will find yourself as a point of presence in the virtual meeting room (if you are still working remotely). When you have invited presence within you and can sense its calm presence, you can decide whether you say something or what action you do or don’t take. Whatever needs to be said or done will come from that moment, the moment filled with the conscious presence within you. In some instances, you won’t say anything; you might totally overlook the unconsciousness in the other person and speak to the sanity that’s hiding somewhere that’s hiding somewhere. In which case, you can continue with what you planned to look at in the meeting.
However, you can’t really try this on for size until you are faced with a similar situation again. You can’t pre-empt what to do if there is anything to do. The critical thing to remember is to be absolutely present, especially when you are in the presence of unconscious people. You don’t want to get drawn into the drama by the light of your own consciousness closing in, so you end up on the same playing field as the people you are surrounded by.
Being in a state of presence means that when you contribute, it will be coming from a conscious contribution that will contrast with people’s unconscious, destructive or negative contributions. From here, the situation can change as you are coming to the team or dealing with a person at a different level of consciousness from where they are at. Often, it just takes one person to say something that is of a higher, more constructive nature to change the whole team dynamics. When a person is coming from their high-quality mind in the moment, it makes a positive difference as it interrupts the interference in a group of people. The words speak to something in them, their humanity that is always there but can be buried deep underneath all their unconscious reactive thinking.
What to do if the whole team is unconscious?
In extreme cases, if the entire room becomes unconscious, you may have to remove yourself. You will find that at the right moment, your body is getting up, and you are walking towards the door. It could also mean that you (potentially) never return to this office.
So if you find yourself working in a very unconscious team, office environment or deeply unconscious company. It may be a place where you cannot do much; perhaps if you stay, you can affect one or two people. But no matter how present you are, your presence alone may not be enough to bring about much change. The problem arises when the individuals working for that company are identified with the collective negative behaviours that then fuels the spread of unconscious across the company. This, in turn, spreads like a virus across teams and impacts team morale, productivity and outcomes. In the end, the company has become so toxic that eventually, it will gradually leak out into products and anything the company puts into the world, risking losing clients and its customers because of it. So there are certain environments it is better to remove yourself from unless this company is open to inviting more conscious awareness into the fibres and structure of its company culture.
Is there something you can do now? Absolutely. Focus on inviting more conscious presence into your everyday awareness, pray your colleagues are doing the same, and hope that one day your company will catch on and create a more conscious company culture.
About
FastCEO partners with ecosystem builders who invest in founders of high-growth potential technology ventures by decreasing high-risk factors associated with early-stage investment and new first-time founding teams. We provide post-investment support, which includes assessment, mentoring, coaching and development.
We begin by offering founders and key players a data-driven 360 assessment to assess competencies as part of the due diligence process or to prepare them for the next phase of growth. Our 360 goes beyond measuring behavioural skills; it also uncovers invisible barriers to productive relationships and achieving results by measuring behaviour and assumptions simultaneously. It then goes one step further to show you what might impact leadership effectiveness and venture performance by correlating the different leadership competencies with business performance measures.
Essentially, we create conscious leaders who are more adept at evolving at the same rate as company growth so they don’t end up sabotaging results through their lack of awareness.
